Karla lane will do anything for a cheeseburger or two

Hi, I'm Barack Obama.

Due to the increasing cost of health care and the growing problem with chunky women in our nation,

this administration, in conjunction with Stoney Curtis of LethalHardcore****,

has asked Congress to fund the ******** Chunkers program.

This is one of the steps we have taken to lower our nation's dependence on foreign fatty foods,